How To Define Your Style
Who do you want to be? How do you want people to see you? What do you want your appearance to say about you?
While it is nice to live with the ideology that appearances don’t matter, it isn’t always the case, nor should it be. This is not a guide for how to hide behind your clothing, or how to “dress the part”. This is a guide for how to dress your part, whatever that may be.
Style and fashion in general offer a way to showcase your personality, interests, and emotions. You should be able to apply that to your own life, and take charge of your appearance. With a style and image that appeals to you, you’re automatically a more confident and a bolder person as a result.
I started diving into the world of fashion when I was about 16, Junior year of High School. Everyone goes through those awkward phases in Middle School where their bodies don’t quite fit the clothes they wear, or they don’t even know what kind of clothes to wear. You juggle your personality, your hormones and your appearance on a tightrope. Then, in High School, appearance plays a huge role. Suddenly, dating becomes a “thing” and you get concerned with what you look like, how you’re presenting yourself, which crowd you’ll fit in with at lunchtime. I didn’t really get out of this mindset until Junior year, when I began playing around with my wardrobe.
Coming from a relatively small city in Maine, there wasn’t a whole lot of variety when it came to they way people dress. I remember going to school and having comments said to me about my outfit. Some, not so kind, but it only helped shape me into who I am today. However, most of the time I got compliments about my style, people saying they’ve never seen a top like that, or that they love my pants and wondered where I bought them. My go to style at that point in time was a big fluffy scarf and anything striped. It made me feel safe, protected, and comfortable.
Now, my style has certainly changed and matured, but I still find myself attached to the pieces that inspired me in High School, a time filled with so much growth.
Let’s start with a few questions to ask yourself:
How do I want to look?
What inspires you?
Think of what you find beautiful, endearing, special. Take a long walk and see what you admire about other people’s style. Look on Pinterest & Instagram and start searching for your dream clothes. They are closer than they seem. The first step in achieving the look that you want is to clarify it in your mind.
For me, taking five minutes and scrolling through Instagram helps inspire me each day. Part of that is the amount of fashion & style pages that I follow allow me to open my eyes to what I am attracted to in the fashion world, but the other half is that it helps me style my own wardrobe and choose pieces to purchase later. Some of my favorite accounts are: Tezza, Brittany Xavier, Jaci Marie Smith & Caroline Daur. It helps me whenever I’m in a funk to get my creative juices flowing & express myself.
What do I want my style to say about me?
Do you want to be seen as bold, neutral, calm, classy or fierce?
Whatever it may be for you, think about how your clothes will internally make you feel, and then externally make you act.
I feel the most comfortable, the most me, when I’m in neutral colors, decked out in jewelry, in something that makes me feel feminine, or in something that adds a bit of flair to an otherwise classic outfit.
French and Parisian style has always been an inspiration for my outfits, but I’m starting to gather an appreciation for a more relaxed look. I love trying out different genres of style to see how I feel/ how they look on me. That’s the best part of clothing, you can take it off and try again!
What style is realistic for me?
Do you work a 9-5 office job, model, or travel for a living? This can change what you wear and what you should be wearing. As my mother taught me (and still has to remind me), function over fashion.
Living in the city, I needed to learn how to dress and prepare for whatever comes my way. I could have school, a meeting, work, and hang out with my friends all in one day. I needed to adapt my wardrobe to be multifunctional and reliable rather than only buying pieces for specific outfits. This allowed me to have a more concise and effective wardrobe of things that I actually wear, rather than having to spend hours searching for the perfect outfit each day. I’ve begun to learn quality over quantity and buy pieces that will last rather than only fast fashion.
What will look “good” on me?
Don’t get caught up in what you think is “wrong” with your body. Sure, you can address it with yourself, but don’t hide in your clothing. After all, clothing is meant to emphasize and go over our skin. First, you must be comfortable with what is underneath all of the clothing and accessories.
Everyone struggles with confidence, even the strongest of people. I personally don’t feel as confident when I am showcasing my arms or my legs, so I try to find styles that cover and reveal in harmony. I navigate towards flowing pants and flouncy sleeves not in an effort to hide myself, but in a way to select pieces that will make me feel good, and add flair..
It is also important to find your colors. Every skin tone, eye color, and hair color have a palette that will make you stand out. It’s important to narrow down your wardrobe to colors and patterns that will make your features pop. This way, you don’t buy a lime green top because it is trendy only to find out that when you try to wear it your skin tone drowns in the color.
And anyways, if all goes wrong, the best accessory is a smile. Laugh it off, and enjoy yourself.
and now let’s dive into the "how” part of this post.
How will you reach this “look”?
This may mean donating clothing, buying new pieces, and totally recreating your options, but I’ve got a couple tips to acquire your new style.
There are some businesses that will actually buy your used clothes from you. The ones that I know of are Plato’s closet in Maine and Buffalo Exchange in Massachusetts. I’ve sold my clothing to both places, and it’s a rewarding experience to get money that you can then redeem for store credit ( shop the pieces that other people donated) or you can get cash to shop at other stores. In essence, you get money to shop for new styles as you return your old ones. It’s much better than just throwing your clothes away, and the plus side is you get money too!
Stores like H&M, Levi’s and The North Face will allow shoppers to bring in old merchandise and they offer a discount on future purchases. This is a great way to get new clothing at a fraction of the cost, and still recycle!
There are also tons of apps like ThredUp and Depop on which you can sell your old clothing directly to consumers and make money that way! It’s a great way to spread fashion & save it from going to waste.
Some if not most of your pieces could also be donated to Goodwill or local thrift stores in the area, so don’t miss those opportunities as well!
Another great way to make use of your old clothing is to try and up-cycle it. Old jeans can be made into cute shorts and etc. Try and find a use for your clothes if you are not ready to donate them yet.
How will this look impact your life/career/confidence?
Once you love your look, be proud about it, show it off, and inspire others.
Use your style to express yourself! In the end, it can be something that gets you noticed at a job interview, is a conversation starter, and can attract new friendships. Once you feel confident in your clothing & your skin, you can live your life more fully. Have fun with it and don’t be afraid to try something new.
Everyone deserves to love how they look, however they choose to.
All photos were captured by Abby Sullivan.
Photo concept inspiration from Tezza & all editing was done on the Tezza App.
xoxo